DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Frank,

It’s me, Neve Campbell!  You’ll never guess what “wild things” are happening here at the restaurant where I work.  I’m a hostess, and I was about to seat a “party of five” when the old man who runs the place walked in—he must be at least “54.”  His name is Dr. Vink, and his devotion to “the craft” of soupmaking is as lucrative as it is terrifying.  It’s rumored that the reason why there are so many abrupt departures here at “the company” is that his famous soup’s special ingredient is fear itself.  I’ve heard he’ll try to extract fear from all of us at some point, and the very idea is enough to make me “scream.”  I bet you’d “scream 2”!  In fact, I could “scream 3” times, or maybe even “scream 4” times.  What can I do?  Just seeing him puts me in a “panic.”  My friends are always saying it takes “three to tango,” but I don’t see how that applies to this situation.

Sincerely,

Neve Campbell

* * *

Dear Neve,

I understand that your career is not where it once was, but there is no reason for you to be working at a restaurant.  You are a beautiful, talented actress whose charm transcends numerous genres.  I know it’s difficult when you’re pushing 40 to sustain a respectable career, but there are innumerable examples of actresses whose careers didn’t hit their stride until even later.  Just keep taking risks.  Even if your old fans don’t follow you as you grow older, you may pick up new ones along the way.

Yours,

Frank

  • 21 October 2012
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