DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Gary,

Am I gonna get fired? I work as an assistant to a magician, and I recently stole his wand and released an ancient demon bent on destroying the world. I’m worried that the wholesale destruction of all human civilization will be difficult to hide from my boss (who’s human). Is there any way to fix this?

Help please,

Doomsday Kid

* * *

Dear Doomy,

Has your boss suggested a particularly major investment in human civilization? You may be freaking out over nothing. He can’t expect perfection—he knows you’re a kid. In fact, the release of this demon may be precisely what he wanted when he hired you. Just because he is an adult and your boss does not mean that you shouldn’t question his motivations. The entire practice of magic is predicated on deceit, and if you can’t learn when people are lying to you, you’ll never be Criss Angel.

Smoke and mirrors,

Gary

  • 16 October 2012