Dear David,
Ricky’s dead. So imagine my surprise when he lent me his bicycle to save my brother from a similar death. The bicycle was shiny and red—the very bicycle that accompanied Ricky to his watery grave. Unfortunately, after I saved my brother, I found that Ricky’s bike was all twisted up and rusty:

I can’t return it to him like this, and he’ll know if I replace it. Which is kind of a disaster, because Ricky’s been haunting me for literally ten years, and I was hoping this would be the end of it. But now it’s like, I not only caused his death, but I ruined his bike, too. How will I ever rest easy?
Yours,
Guilty Conscience
* * *
Dear Guilty,
Don’t replace the bike—that bike was a ghost bike. This is a classic ghost trick. Ricky’s dead, and nothing you can do can bring him back. Appeasing his ghost will not bring him back. He is dead.
Hope this helps,
David
