DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Kiki,

I’m working on a group project with this boy I like.  He’s not a good student, though, and we’re butting heads already.   I wish he’d just shut up and let me take over.  Which is always what happens with me and boys.  I’m a brilliant student, but my controlling attitude always keeps love at bay.  At this rate, I’m worried I’ll end up like the old librarian:

She never got married during her lifetime, and now she stalks the halls of the library murdering children who talk too much.  She has a box she uses to steal their voices, and she sends their souls to fester in the old Quiet Reading Room:

How can I avoid her fate without sacrificing my grade-point?

Yours,

Type A Makes the A

* * *

Dear Easy A,

Nothing wrong with being the smart girl, but I see what you’re saying.  The best way to avoid becoming the person you hate is to kill that person.  Have you considered killing the librarian ghost?  Boys love ghostbusting, and this may be a great way for you and him to bond.  It’s risky, of course, but if you lose, it will at least provide you with the peace and quiet you need to do well on the project.  That said, you shouldn’t be afraid of becoming a librarian—it’s actually a very hip profession these days.

Sincerely,

Kiki

  • 16 October 2012