Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Gary,

I’m in love with Dr. Vink.  I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.  We’re both adults living in a child’s world, and we’re both emphatic about creating catchphrases.  And he has money!  The trouble is: we exist in alternative universes. It’s come to my attention that Dr. Vink is the creation of your friend Frank.  Is there any way you could set up a date?


Ms. Sardo If You’re Nasty

* * *

Dear Sardo,

Would you be open to having us include your date as one of the Midnight Society’s tales of horror?

The drawback, of course, is that all references to homosexuality will have to be veiled.  But this can be fun to work with.  For instance, we can make Dr. Vink a hairdresser:

And instead of kissing him, you can stroke him gently on the arm, saying things like, “What other little adventures do you think we might be able to cook up together?”

In any event, the benefits should be enormous as far as the budget goes.  This is “season premiere” material, and we will be able to provide substantially more in the way of sets, props, and guest stars.  It won’t quite be Disney-level, but I think we could talk the producers into getting twice as many skeleton props out for this one.  DM me if you’d like to arrange the details.

All the best,


  • 16 October 2012