DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Betty Ann,

My son loves his new babysitter, and she’s incredibly popular throughout the neighborhood.  She’s always carrying books with her, and she has this big “reading is the biggest adventure of all” thing she does.  You know how people who work with children can be.  In any event, I can’t argue with the results.  My son hardly ever watches television anymore, and he reads more than the rest of the household combined.

But the babysitter…  She really gives me the creeps.  For one thing, she dresses like a witch:

Further, she always refuses payment.  When I offer to pay, she just gives me a coy smile and says something like, “I’ve already received my payment.”  And she refuses to let me look at the strange, expensive-looking books she carries around with her.

I’d feel better about it if I could just get a straight answer from my son about what exactly it is they do when I’m out, but the most I can get out of him is that they had a “reading adventure.”  My son adores her, and so I don’t want my neuroses to ruin what seems, on the surface, to be a very warm, positive experience for him.  But I fear the worst.  What can I do?

Help,

Worried Mother

* * *

Dear Mother,

Sounds like she’s using her numerous leather-bound volumes of Satanic pornography to lure your son into a lifestyle of sexual deviance.  Hail the dark lord!

Just kidding!

Reading is magic.  Don’t be so uptight.

Yours,

Betty Ann

  • 13 October 2012
  • 4