DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Gary,

I’ve been thinking about going back in time to find friends.  I certainly couldn’t do any worse than I am now!  The mystical stone I just bought allows me to travel back to the nineteenth century via mirrors, and my impression is that people were a lot more amenable to friendship then.  People were just lonelier, I guess—lonely like me.  That said, I’m concerned that making friends this way would permanently alter the course of time and, perhaps, cause the whole concept of time to collapse.  How can I best pursue my dream of past friendships without exposing myself to tort liability?

Deeply,

Unpopular in the 90’s

* * *

Dear Unpopular,

The fact of the matter is: there’s almost nothing you can do in life that doesn’t expose you to tort liability to some extent.  You just have to believe the best in people—that people will work to avoid lawsuits and that your magic stone won’t end up clogging the dockets of an already overrun court system.  In fact, it sounds like you’re simply inventing reasons to avoid making friends, and I suspect that your problems may not be so century-specific after all.  What is it about friendship that scares you?  Are you afraid that if you make new friends, they’ll simply be murdered by the terrifying man in black who follows you from century to century, attempting to retake the stone he believes is rightfully his?

You have to learn to live a little!  Make mistakes.  As you may discover, a new friendship will always justify the cost.

Best of luck,

Gary

  • 8 October 2012