DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Betty Ann,

I have a mirror.  What could go wrong?

Yours,

Reflected Tears

* * *

Dear Reflected Tears,

A lot could go wrong.  For instance, if you’ve spent the past century sucking the youth out of others, a mirror is pretty much guaranteed to reveal your true age.  Or what if you’re a vampire?  Your lack of a reflection would be a “dead” giveaway.  A mirror might also compel you to conform to an arbitrary notion of beauty perpetuated by the make-up industry.  And did you know that mirrors are sometimes haunted?

They’re not all bad, though.  I remember Gary once telling a story where the hero uses a mirror to turn an evil magician’s spell against him.  I love when this happens!  One time I did this story where kids destroy a spell-casting camera by having it take a picture of itself.  Camera, mirrors…  What could be scarier than facing your ever-changing body?  As you might have guessed, I had a rough couple of years there, which can be pretty well encapsulated by the time I made a painstakingly accurate doll of Gary’s 10-year-old brother:

My point being that everyone has problems.  What are yours?  Apart from reflecting literal reality, a mirror only does what you want it to.  The mirror is really a reflection of you, and it can’t show you something that wasn’t there to begin with.  Unless it’s haunted.

Always,

Betty Ann

  • 6 October 2012
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