DEAR MIDNIGHT SOCIETY,

Life advice, via Are You Afraid of the Dark (index) (random)

Dear Kristen,

I sure do love horses!  I spend hours and hours each day drawing them on my Trapper Keeper, but my mother still won’t let me learn to ride.  It’s probably because my stupid aunt died riding one when they were little, and she wants to protect me.  I think this is rotten.  What can I do?

Help please,

Mia Kirshner

* * *

Dear Mia Kirshner,

Your mother is probably just haunted by the ghost of your aunt, telling her it’s time to feed the hungry hounds.  Perhaps you should consider feeding them!  Go up to the attic, and jump out the window!  I know it doesn’t make sense, but it will free your mom from her sister’s ghost.

If for some reason that doesn’t work, consider demonstrating to your mom that she can’t keep protecting you from every danger through sheer avoidance.  Perhaps you could begin having unprotected sex with strangers, or developing a drug addiction, or simply throwing rocks at cars on the interstate.  Sometimes coddling a child is far more dangerous than letting it ride a horse every now and then.

Hope this helps,

Kristen

image

  • 3 October 2012